Written by Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides
You know what drinking is and you’ve likely heard of what it means to be sober, but what does ‘sober curious’ mean? Just like it sounds, it refers to someone who might be curious about being sober, or at the very least cutting back on alcohol consumption. While the sober curious movement has been around for years, it’s making a comeback in 2025.
What is ‘sober curious’?
The sober curious phenomenon gained significant traction in 2018 thanks to the term being popularised by Ruby Warrington in her book of the same name. The book explores the concept of reevaluating one’s relationship with alcohol without necessarily committing to complete abstinence. Being sober curious doesn’t necessarily mean complete abstinence from alcohol. Rather, it involves a mindful examination of our drinking habits, encouraging individuals to question when, why, and how much they drink.
However, the sober curious concept has roots that stretch back further than Ruby Warrington’s book. For years, people have considered this concept and explored it themselves (even if they didn’t have a name to encapsulate it). The sober curious movement is not just another fleeting wellness fad – it represents a shift in how we perceive the role of alcohol in our lives and its impact on our mental health.
Why the resurgence in 2025?
Thank the younger generations! The sober curious movement is particularly resonant among millennials and Gen Z, who are increasingly prioritising health and wellness. They’re asking themselves: “Do I really need this drink to have fun?” or “How does alcohol actually make me feel?” These questions lead to a more conscious approach to alcohol consumption, often resulting in reduced intake or periods of abstinence.
Over the last five years, it has become an increasing trend, especially amongst men in their early thirties who are exploring ways to be sober or cut back on their alcohol consumption drastically, without necessarily meeting conditions for addiction or misuse. Most of this is driven by the realisation that maintaining relationships and communication, committing to a healthy lifestyle and being effective, clear-minded and well-rested are not compatible with alcohol.
How alcohol impacts our mental health
As a mental health professional, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact that alcohol can have on a person’s psychological wellbeing. While moderate drinking is often socially accepted, the line between social drinking and problematic consumption can be blurry. The sober curious movement provides a framework for individuals to explore this grey area without the stigma often associated with traditional recovery programs.
One of the most immediate benefits of reducing alcohol intake is improved sleep quality. Alcohol is known to disrupt sleep patterns, leading to poor quality rest even if you fall asleep quickly. Many of my patients who have embraced sober curiosity report more restful nights and increased energy during the day. This improvement in sleep alone can have cascading positive effects on mental health, including better mood regulation and increased cognitive function.
Speaking of mood, alcohol is a depressant that can exacerbate existing mood disorders or create new ones. Many individuals who reduce their alcohol consumption find that they experience more stable moods and decreased anxiety. This is particularly important for those with a predisposition to depression or anxiety disorders. By removing alcohol from the equation, they’re better able to identify and address the root causes of their emotional challenges.
I spend a lot of my time educating people about the inebriation effects of alcohol. Unlike other substances, alcohol doesn’t lead to the release of feel-good chemicals. The inebriation effects of alcohol occur because we cannot convert the ethanol in alcohol, and anything that cannot be broken down becomes toxic. As it crosses the blood brain barrier (think of this as the protective shield of the brain) the brain becomes poisoned. In response to this poisoning, the brain quickly shuts down the MOST crucial aspects of our sophisticated brain in order to protect them from damage. Which parts? Well, let’s see – the parts that are involved in self awareness, self regulation, impulse control, reason, logic and more.
This is why we often experience the dreaded “hangxiety” – as the brain slowly returns to online status, it now may have to sort through memories in which you may have behaved in ways you are normally cautious about. There is a real impact that alcohol can have in affecting our ability to make choices and to behave in ways we can still feel good about in days to come. Not only can this be dangerous and risky, but the impact of this repetition on our sense of self and our sense of self-esteem can be great.
Cognitive function is another area where the benefits of sober curiosity become apparent. Alcohol can create a mental fog that persists well beyond the immediate effects of intoxication. By reducing or eliminating alcohol consumption, many people experience improved clarity of thought, better decision-making abilities, and increased productivity. This mental sharpness can lead to a greater sense of self-efficacy and overall life satisfaction.
Perhaps one of the most significant psychological impacts of the sober curious movement is the development of stronger emotional resilience. Alcohol is often used as a coping mechanism for stress, social anxiety, or difficult emotions. By facing these challenges without the crutch of alcohol, individuals are forced to develop healthier coping strategies. This process, while sometimes uncomfortable, leads to greater emotional intelligence and adaptability in the long run.
While the mental health benefits of sober curiosity are significant, it’s important to note that it also has a holistic impact on overall wellbeing. Many people who reduce their alcohol intake report improvements in physical health, including weight loss, better skin, and increased energy levels. These physical changes can, in turn, positively influence mental health, creating a virtuous cycle of wellbeing.
Financial health is another area that often sees improvement. Alcohol can be a significant expense, and many sober curious individuals find they have more disposable income to invest in other areas of their lives, such as hobbies, travel, or personal development. This financial freedom can reduce stress and contribute to an overall sense of life satisfaction.
How to be sober curious in an alcohol-filled world
One of the most common concerns about reducing alcohol consumption is the potential impact it can have on our social life. Our society often revolves around alcohol-centric events, from happy hours to weddings. However, the sober curious movement is challenging these norms, creating spaces and events that don’t centre around drinking. Many of my patients initially worry about how they’ll navigate social situations without alcohol – and rightly so, it can be a scary thought.
However, what they often discover is a newfound confidence in their ability to connect with others authentically. Without the social lubricant of alcohol, they truly are forced to rely on their own personality and conversational skills. This can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections and a sense of empowerment in social situations.
Some great news is that the sober curious movement has given rise to a vibrant community of like-minded individuals. From alcohol-free bars to sober social events (hello Dry January) there are increasingly more options for those looking to socialise without drinking. This sense of community can be incredibly beneficial for mental health, providing support, understanding, and a sense of belonging.
If you’re intrigued by the sober curious movement, it’s important to approach it with an open mind and without judgment. Start by reflecting on your current relationship with alcohol. How does drinking make you feel, both in the moment and the day after? Are there situations where you feel pressured to drink? What might your life look like with less alcohol in it? Consider setting personal goals for reducing your alcohol intake. This might mean designating certain days of the week as alcohol-free or committing to a “dry month” to see how you feel. Pay attention to the changes you experience, both positive and challenging.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and it’s not about adhering to strict rules or judgments. Instead, it’s about understanding what works best for your mental health. Whether you choose to cut back significantly or simply become more mindful of your consumption, the journey of sober curiosity can lead to positive improvements in mental wellbeing.I suggest trialling sobriety as a challenge for at least 3 months, as I believe this is a long enough period to truly see the benefits in your life, health and wellbeing.
The Paige Recommended Reading
If you’re looking for further inspiration and guidance on your own sober curious journey, here are some books we loved – we’re also looking forward to reading Millie MacKintosh’s book when it’s released in May.
Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker
High Sobriety by Jill Stark
Bad Drunk by Millie MacKintosh
Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides is a highly experienced clinical psychologist based in Sydney, with over 25 years of expertise in the field of psychology. She is the founder of counselling clinics in Paddington and Clovelly that specialise in treating a wide range of psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and PTSD. Find out more on her website or follow Dr Lukeides on Instagram.
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