Parenting is one of the most profound and transformative experiences of our lives, yet so often, we move through it on autopilot – shaped by our own childhoods in ways we don’t fully understand. Seen is a groundbreaking documentary that invites parents to reflect and truly see themselves, so they can better connect with their children.
Backed by leading experts in psychology, neuroscience, and attachment theory, the film weaves together research with raw, personal stories to reveal how our past influences our parenting and how healing ourselves can transform our families.
Seen is more than just a film – it’s a mirror. Watching it sparked powerful conversations in my own home, prompting my partner and I to examine aspects of our parenting we hadn’t fully considered. What values are we passing down? How do our own childhood experiences shape the way we show up for our 18-month-old daughter?
To explore these themes further, I spoke with Seen’s Producer, Sam Jockel. A mother of three, Sam’s career has spanned social work and digital parenting resources dedicated to helping parents navigate the complex and often overwhelming journey of raising children.
In this conversation, she shares the personal realisations that led her to create Seen, the shifts she’s made in her own parenting, and the small but meaningful ways parents can begin their own journey of self-discovery.
Seen explores how our own childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Was there a particular moment or realisation in your own journey that made you passionate about bringing this film to life?
There was a very clear moment for me in my own personal journey as a mother. I’ve got a 17 year old, a 14 year old and a 10 year old. Having founded ParentTV and worked with some of the leading experts across the globe for nearly ten years now, I feel like as a parent, I really took on a lot of the advice.
I was doing all the things that the book said to do, and there was a lot of stuff that still wasn’t working. In some ways, I felt like I was brought to my knees by all of that, because I was doing everything to try and get the kids to, I guess, behave in certain ways or do certain things.
There was this moment in time for me where the only place left to look was back in the mirror at me, and suddenly I began to realise that there was more to it than just my kids in front of me. That they were just mirroring back at me what I was showing up with.
And so if I wanted things to change, I learned that was my work to do. It wasn’t their work to do. I learned that it wasn’t just what we said to our kids, but how we say it and, I guess, just warmth.
My kids might say that before my transformation, their experience of me may have been quite cold – I loved them – but there was no warmth there. And they would definitely say now there’s much more warmth.
Seen emphasises the importance of self-discovery and healing emotional wounds, which is an incredibly difficult journey for anyone to confront, let alone layering this with the demands of parenting.
What would you say to a busy mother who feels overwhelmed by this process but wants to break generational cycles? What are some small but meaningful ways she can begin this journey?
Great question. I would say, you don’t have to fix it today. I would say, have a vision for where you want things to be with your kids in 2,3,5, years from now. Not next week, and then slowly, ever so gently and compassionately, start to move in that direction.
This is a long game-play. This isn’t a short game-play. You do not have to fix this in the next week, month or year, but having a sense of where you want to go, what you want that to feel like, look like, and then slowly and gently start heading in that direction the best you can.
One of the things that I did, which was a game changer, was I started having breakfast with my teenage daughters once a fortnight before school. It’s such a small thing that I did, but it really has ended up being a very significant thing for my relationship with my girls. They know that that’s an important time for us and that they have my full attention, and we’ve learned to just sit together and talk about nothing.
I don’t have agendas. I don’t come with a list of stuff, but it’s a really simple thing that I’ve learned that has actually made a massive impact, and it is literally 90 minutes, or even 30 minutes once a fortnight.
This film is more than a documentary – it’s a call to action for parents to heal and connect. What impact do you hope it will have on families?
I really just hope that this documentary helps to bring more warmth to families in Australia, I’m loving this idea of warmth.
I feel like it’s a really tangible concept of what it is that we’re trying to do here, which is just slow down, see each other, be more present, and bring some loving warmth to our homes.
For families where one parent feels ready to begin this work but their partner is more hesitant, how would you recommend approaching a conversation to create understanding and find common ground?
This is a tricky one, and even in my own home my husband and I have been doing a little bit of dance around this over the years, but certainly we have become much more aligned in the direction we’re going now.
We’ve been together for 20 years, and it’s a journey over 20 years. So firstly, don’t expect that to be something that happens really quickly. What I’ve learned from personal experience with all of this is when I stopped actually focusing on my partner and trying to change him, and I just focused on myself, and actually just started to do that work myself, who I started becoming, and how I started to change.
He really started to notice, and that started to change him. So it wasn’t that I was trying to force any kind of change on the other person. I just changed, and naturally from that, the entire ecosystem of our family started to change, and I didn’t have to do anything.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s just the transformation that comes has nothing to do with you trying to force control, or change anyone around you. It is all about looking within, not out, and doing your own work and changing yourself.
When that happens, it’s like this domino effect of change that starts to play out in your whole life. Some of that is challenging, some of what you end up discovering, maybe some of the relationships that you’ve had in your life aren’t for you, and haven’t really ever served you, but they were just patterns of things that you chose, that didn’t come out of health.
So, you know, it’s not all fun and roses kind of on the journey, but a big picture. Definitely peace, harmony and a lot of warmth and healing does come when you do this work.
Seen premieres in cinemas on March 2nd, inviting parents on a powerful journey of self-discovery and connection. Beginning March 9th, a nationwide Q&A tour will feature experts from the film, offering deeper insights and meaningful discussions on the themes explored. For tickets and more information, visit seenthefilm.com.
