Despite what you often see on social media, pregnancy isn’t all gender reveal celebrations, nursery decorating and happy tears. For some of us, it’s lonely, and the tears aren’t happy, they’re terrifying.
My pregnancy was an emotional rollercoaster, through all day and night nausea until 17 weeks, a partner who was still living in another state, a complete lack of preparation, guilt around a surprise pregnancy when so many close friends were trying so hard to be very purposefully pregnant, surfaced emotions over a previous loss years before, a new business that I knew wouldn’t survive a maternity leave break, financial stress, an existing back condition that wasn’t loving carrying the extra load of pregnancy, and the ever present voice in the back of my mind asking how what currently felt so overwhelming, could end up being a happy ending.
Cut to, we now have a beautiful, happy & healthy 17 month old who without a doubt is the best surprise anyone could ask for. I told myself every day throughout my pregnancy that it would all be ok once the baby arrived, I would be happy and love the baby once it was born, which thankfully turned out to be true (I’m very aware this isn’t instantly the case for all mothers), but it didn’t make the overwhelm and anxiety any easier at the time.
During my pregnancy a physio I was seeing told me about Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) , a free service that supports parents and families during pregnancy and throughout the first year of parenthood. I remember thinking, free? Surely not. I had been seeing a $280 an hour psychologist, and even on a mental healthcare plan I was $150 out of pocket a session, which sure wasn’t helping the ever present financial anxiety.
I remember my first call with PANDA, they called me as I was on a walk on the beach (one of my last before pregnancy took away my ability to walk and breathe at the same time), and I unloaded all of my fears and anxieties onto this patient, calm and understanding stranger on the other end of the line.
She offered a judgment free ear, a silent nodding I could feel on the other end of the phone, and a calm voice back that told me, “Your feelings are valid.”
It’s all I needed to hear. My feelings were valid.
The growing need for mental health support among new parents
In October 2024 PANDA reported its highest surge in helpline calls in three years, driven by a growing demand for mental health support by new parents. Adjusting to change is the biggest presenting issue PANDA callers are experiencing, alongside isolation and social stressors such as employment, financial hardship and housing.
PANDA CEO Julie Borninkhof says the new data reveals a concerning figure highlighting the severity of the struggles new parents are facing.
“We know that it can be incredibly difficult for parents to admit they’re struggling, even to themselves, but we want them to know it’s okay to reach out. At PANDA, we’re here to support parents and those who care for them in finding a safe space to talk honestly about the challenges they’re facing,” she said.
One in five new mums and one in ten new dads are affected by perinatal depression and anxiety, which impact approximately 100,000 families in Australia each year.
Anyone having trouble coping with pregnancy, being a new parent, or wanting help with building their community of care, can visit panda.org.au or call the PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 Mon to Fri, 9am – 7.30pm and Saturday 9am – 4pm AEST/AEDT.
Outside of these hours Lifeline offers a 24/7 crisis support services via Phone 13 11 14, Text 0477 13 11 14 or Online Chat
