Here’s the truth: human connection is good for us. Like, really really good. But reserving that connection for digital devices only? Well, it doesn’t have the same effect. While we might feel like we’re constantly connected through social media, emails, phone calls, FaceTime, Zoom and the list goes on, doing it all digitally can have the opposite effect we’re hoping for.
Digital Connection Doesn’t Equal Human Connection
I am old enough to remember a time before Facebook. I also remember what being on Facebook for the first time was like. It actually did allow us to connect, and reconnect, to people we had long lost contact with, and introduced us to people within our networks – ones we may not have connected with outside of the platform.
Fast forward to today, and social media has become a boundary to connection. As much as digital connection can give us a sense of connection, whatever chemicals we get from connecting or exchanging information online – a face-to-face in-person experience is always best. It allows the chemicals we produce when we are connecting with others to last for hours or even days.
Social media temporarily makes us feel connected, while we are sending or reading the message, but as soon as it is over, it feels over chemically as well. So we are left feeling empty, unfulfilled. The real tragedy is that it can often feel that we are over-connected, responding to multiple social media messages, emails, SMS, texts, WhatsApp messages, but we are feeling emptier than ever.
Our devices are disconnecting us from real life, usually in times when we should be focused on the ‘here and now’. A good reminder – our relationship with our phone is literally taking away time from meaningful face-to-face connections – the ones we form in the real world.
Is it Time for a Digital Detox?
If the thought of being ‘disconnected’ from the online world scares you, then I would say, yes – it’s time for a digital detox. Think of it as a positive cleanse for your mind, just like you might detox your body with a juice cleanse, leaving you feeling refreshed and energised – the same goes for a digital detox. The trick is being able to do it.
Some people seemingly have their phones connected as an extension of their arms, so completely switching off is a challenge. If that’s you, don’t be ashamed, just be mindful that it’s good to take a break now and then. Why? Well, people have developed a reliance on the brain’s dopamine system (a neurochemical process tied to our experiences of reward and instant gratification). Some platforms are designed to deliver rapid, repeated bursts of dopamine, which can inadvertently foster patterns of comparison, negative self-evaluation, body image concerns, and procrastination.
Excessive social media usage has been associated with increased risks of mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, loneliness, self-harm, and even suicidal ideation. Yet despite this – and the consistent research that demonstrates it – people often fail to connect their digital habits with their emotional wellbeing, and so they become trapped in a cycle where digital engagement contributes to and exacerbates feelings of dissatisfaction.
Recognising this connection is a crucial step toward breaking the cycle and promoting healthier digital boundaries. A detox may initially leave you feeling a little empty. If boredom or loneliness sets in, then it may inspire you to get out, go for a walk and have a more meaningful and lasting social interaction, or even offer the more lasting reward of connecting with nature.
How Can We Set Some Digital Boundaries?
Embrace tech-free zones: Yes, you read that right! That means no screens. Whether it’s in the bedroom or a cosy nook of the house, designate some areas that are strictly screen-free. This encourages face-to-face connections, or positive habits like reading or meditation. Make it as soothing and enticing as possible by adding a candle or soft lighting – whatever you choose.
Set time limits: Please be mindful of how much time you’re spending on your devices each day (that includes TVs, laptops, phones). To minimise use, try setting time limits or a digital curfew (you can do this on your phone, as well as on various apps). As for the TV, limit yourself – perhaps it is just one episode, an hour only or no TV after 7pm. If you struggle, set a timer on your phone to prompt you to switch off when the time comes!
Try habit stacking: What’s habit stacking, I hear you ask? Well, this term stems from the book ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear, which, in essence, involves grouping behaviours you want to develop – with the intent of making them easier to remember and keep up because you’ve linked them to existing routines.
This approach ensures that your digital engagement is purposeful and connected to productive habits, rather than being a default or mindless activity.
Seek professional help: It’s ok if you feel like you’re struggling to switch off digitally. For some people, it can almost feel like an addiction – and with any addiction, seeking help is always the right answer. If you’re struggling with putting that phone down, consider seeking the advice of a professional, who can arm you with tools and strategies to help combat use – and maybe even encourage you to participate in some real-world connections.
Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides is a highly experienced clinical psychologist based in Sydney, with over 25 years of expertise in the field of psychology. Find out more at www.drmariaelenalukeides.com.au or follow her on Instagram.
The content in this article published by The Paige is provided for entertainment and general information only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should not be relied on as such. Always consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns about your health or medical conditions.
