There are over 8 billion people in the world, and thanks to the likes of rom-coms, Disney princesses and social media, we grow up believing that there is just one person who will solve our life’s miseries and lead us to a happily ever after.
Meeting the love of your life was never really an easy quest to fulfil, but now, thanks to the rise of dating apps, the thought of meeting your person seems completely and utterly unobtainable—quite the contradiction to their initial purpose.
We swipe right. We match. Often no one messages, and if they do, the chances of actually going on a date are slim to none, and of course, the match fades into the abyss of dating apps. And then we lather, rinse, repeat.
Due to the widespread use of dating apps, we now have access to thousands of matches at the reach of our fingertips. Just a few minutes of swiping can yield a number of profiles who are presumably interested in going on a date with you, but after weeks of matching and chatting, it is not uncommon to go dateless for what seems like an eternity. An abundance of potential ‘loves of our lives’ leading to absolutely nothing.
But why is this happening? Are we all burnt out from the endless stream of could-be suitors that we no longer prioritise dating? Is there now simply just too many fish in the sea?
Last May, YouGov found that 30% of Australians have used a dating app at some point in their life. I’m not a mathematician, so don’t quote me on it, but it seems like there are a lot of Aussies swiping left and right every day, so statistically it shouldn’t be that hard to find a date, right…?
With now what feels like an endless number of prospects, we no longer have to prioritise one person because we have so many options. If someone shows a glimmer of a red flag, or any colour but green, we bail, we ghost, and we delete, before going through the same series of events with the next brooding version of potential.
More hopeful romantics are experiencing online dating fatigue because of this, which is a type of burnout from constantly putting themselves out there in search of the ever-elusive ‘one’ and not getting much in return.
When you are suffering from online dating fatigue, although you may still have an active profile, the actual intention of going on a date is practically non-existent, meaning there are a lot of connections on apps falling into this swipe-match-delete cycle without an in-person date in between.
To explore this idea further, I spoke with Christine Rafe, Sex and Relationship Expert for pleasure brand Womanizer. She shared that through her clinic, she’s noticed a clear trend.
“Most people who are single and wanting to date or find a partner are feeling disheartened and frustrated by the dating app experience,” Christine shared.
“When we have an endless ‘supply’ of possible suitors that we can quickly swipe to, we can experience decision fatigue, which is part of the issue. However, I feel that the low-quality interactions and the instant superficial judgement – deciding if someone is ‘worthy’ of speaking to based on three photos and a one-liner – are the main reasons causing single folk to be disheartened by dating apps. The time and energy commitment required to be meaningfully on the apps is intense.”
This is a sentiment that’s increasingly being echoed within society, with dating app fatigue becoming such a problem that the likes of Bumble, Tinder and Hinge have shared they are exploring options to keep young people on the apps and encourage them to actually date.
Last year, Bumble rolled out Opening Moves, allowing both men and women to now start the conversation, and Hinge launched their global initiative of Your Turn Limits, a feature that requires daters to either chat or delete their awaiting matches before connecting with any new people.
These new updates hope to get users to finally go out on real dates by focusing on the current matches they already have, which is a similar sentiment shared by my therapist, who always told me to match with around five people at a time before pausing my profile, and dedicating my time to those who I was already speaking to. I am only allowed one dating app at a time, too and since implementing my personal limits at the start of 2025, I have gone on more dates than I have in years and honestly made some really great connections. The best I’ve had in years actually, and yes, they have mainly been through dating apps.
Writing this piece has inspired me to dive deeper into burnout and how to overcome the dating blues, but in the meantime, for anyone in a rut or feeling a sense of overwhelm by all the possibilities that your romantic future may hold, try matching slowly and dating mindfully. It may take a few more swipes right, some cancelled dates, and a few bruises to the ego, but all it ever really takes is one – we just have to find them.
Marisa Jayne is The Paige’s Sex & Dating Editor. She is a Melbourne-based writer, podcaster and publicist who is in a relationship with her own thoughts. She lives by the motto ‘Happy, Pretty, Busy’.
